I found the vending machine behind Saint Static Arms at 2:13 in the morning, which is the hour when normal people are asleep and useful people are stealing copper wire from abandoned laundry rooms.

Allegedly.

The machine was sitting in the alley between our building and the boarded-up nail salon that still has a sign promising LUXURY HAND EXPERIENCE, which feels threatening now. It hadn’t been there earlier. I know because I check the alley regularly for rats, useful trash, and corpses that might become my problem.

It hummed like it had swallowed bad electricity.

The screen flickered.

SPICY CHIPS
OFF-BRAND COLA
YOUR WORST MEMORY

I stood there in my hoodie, wet boots, fishnets doing their best impression of structural failure, goggles shoved up in my hair, and stared at it.

“Vek,” I said. “Finally. A machine with taste.”

The vending machine buzzed.

PLEASE INSERT PAYMENT.

I leaned closer. “What do you take?”

The screen blinked.

COINS. CARDS. BLOOD. REGRET.

“Corporate-owned, then.”

From the fire escape above me, somebody whispered, “Don’t touch it.”

I looked up.

A human kid was crouched on the second-floor landing in pajama pants and a hoodie too clean for this neighborhood. Maybe fifteen. Maybe seventeen. I don’t know. Humans age weird. They look like undercooked bread until suddenly they own a grill and start talking about interest rates.

“Why are you whispering at me from the bird ladder?” I asked.

He swallowed. “It gave Mr. Pell a soda.”

“Dark times.”

“He shook the whole time he drank it.”

“That’s just Pell. He looks like a haunted sock.”

“No. He bought the third option.”

I looked back at the screen.

YOUR WORST MEMORY

My ears twitched.

“That one does have drama.”

The kid started climbing down the fire escape like he had been appointed ambassador of bad decisions. “Seriously, don’t. It’s cursed or possessed or hacked or something.”

“Those are three different problems.”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. I like knowing which flavor of stupid I’m eating.”

The vending machine’s light flickered over the alley. Inside, most of the rows were empty except for three bags of spicy chips, two dented cans of cola, and one small black box sitting behind the glass in slot C7.

No label.

No price.

Just a little sticker with a hand-drawn eye.

I tapped the glass.

The machine tapped back.

The kid froze halfway down the ladder. “It did that earlier.”

I lowered my hand. “And you’re only mentioning it now?”

“I said don’t touch it!”

“You said a lot of things. Most of them had human panic all over them.”

The machine buzzed again.

PLEASE INSERT PAYMENT.

I dug through my hoodie pocket and found three buttons, a bent paperclip, a bottle cap, a coin with teeth marks in it, and a tiny plastic skeleton arm I have no memory of acquiring. Which means it was probably important.

I fed the coin into the slot.

The machine rejected it.

INSUFFICIENT PAYMENT.

“That coin has emotional value, you dead-eyed snack coffin.”

INSUFFICIENT PAYMENT.

I tried the bottle cap.

The machine accepted it.

The kid stared. “Why did that work?”

“Because machines respect confidence.”

The buttons lit up.

Spicy chips.

Cola.

Worst memory.

My finger hovered over C7.

The kid whispered, “Please don’t.”

Which is, historically, one of the worst things to say to me.

I pressed the button.

The alley went quiet.

Not normal quiet. Not city quiet, where something is always dripping, buzzing, screaming, or trying to sell you a subscription.

Real quiet.

The kind of quiet that means something with teeth just noticed you.

The machine’s glass fogged from the inside.

Then I saw The Tangle.

Not the safe edge where outsiders hire “authentic goblin repair services” and pretend they aren’t checking their pockets every six seconds. Not Three Wires, with the food stalls, half-legal fixers, and old aunties selling charms that may or may not curse your enemies depending on the discount.

Deeper in.

Low ceilings. Wet brick. Cable nests. Rusted ladders. Barrel smoke. Goblins moving through the dark like the dark owed them rent.

Then I saw myself at twelve.

Adult, before some softskin starts doing tragic math. Goblins don’t take eighteen years to become people. By twelve, I had my full height, my own knife, my own bad habits, and enough pride to get myself killed twice before breakfast.

I wasn’t little.

I wasn’t helpless.

I was just young enough to think hunger made every decision noble.

I had a stolen pastry shoved under my hoodie and two older goblins laughing because I’d stolen from the wrong cart.

Then Baba’s hand came down on the back of my neck.

Not hard.

Worse.

Disappointed.

She dragged me back through the tunnels, muttering old Goblin curses sharp enough to peel paint.

“You steal smart,” Baba snapped. “You steal from longlegs with full pockets. You steal from corps. You steal from anyone rich enough to forget what they own. Not from grok counting crumbs.”

“I was hungry,” I said.

Like that made me clever.

Baba stopped.

Her face changed for half a second. The anger cracked, and something tired looked through.

Then she took the pastry, broke it in half, and handed me the bigger piece.

“You were hungry,” she said. “So were they.”

I hated that.

Not because she was wrong.

Because she wasn’t.

I cried later. Not in front of her, because I had dignity and also I’m an idiot. I cried behind a busted water heater where nobody could look at me like I was something fragile.

I wasn’t fragile.

I was just wrong.

There’s a difference, apparently. Horrible discovery. Do not recommend.

The vending machine glass cleared.

I was back in the alley.

The kid was staring at me like he’d watched my soul fall out and scuttle under a dumpster.

“What did it show you?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“That didn’t look like nothing.”

“Congratulations, softskin. Your eyes work. Don’t get smug.”

The machine clicked.

The black box dropped into the tray.

I crouched and pulled it out. Cold. Too heavy. Wrong in the hand.

The eye sticker blinked.

The kid backed up. “Is it alive?”

“Everything is alive if you disappoint it enough.”

The box opened by itself.

Inside was a tooth.

A goblin tooth.

Small. Sharp. Yellowed with age.

My stomach did something rude and complicated.

The kid whispered, “Is that yours?”

I touched my tongue to my own teeth.

“No.”

The vending machine hummed.

Words crawled across the display.

UNPAID DEBT DETECTED.

The alley lights flickered.

Then a voice came from inside the machine.

Not a recording. Not a speaker.

A mouth behind metal.

Old Goblin.

“Varka’s girl.”

My hand went to the knife under my hoodie.

The kid’s voice cracked. “It knows you?”

I smiled without meaning it.

“Apparently I’m famous with trash appliances.”

The screen flashed.

COLLECTOR MODE ACTIVE.

Something inside the machine began grinding. The snack coils twisted loose like metal fingers. The dented cola cans split open and leaked black fluid into the tray. Steam hissed off the pavement.

The machine rocked forward.

The kid stumbled backward. “What do we do?”

I grabbed his sleeve and shoved him toward the fire escape ladder.

“You skrit upward.”

“What about you?”

“I’m going to have a private emotional conversation with a vending machine.”

“That sounds stupid!”

“Most things do when you say them accurately.”

He climbed.

The machine lunged.

One metal coil burst through the cracked glass and whipped toward my face. I ducked. It sliced the brick wall behind me and threw sparks.

“Rude.”

Another coil shot out.

I snapped two fingers and whispered a little gutter spell Baba hates because it’s not proper Goblin and not proper magic. Just cheap Arcane Trickster nonsense, which is my brand and burden.

For half a second, there were four of me.

One diving left.

One rolling right.

One flipping the machine off.

One standing perfectly still with a smug little grin.

The coil chose the smug one.

Good. Everyone does eventually.

It passed through empty air.

I ran forward and jammed my knife into the coin slot.

The machine screamed.

Not beeped.

Screamed.

From three floors up, someone yelled, “Some of us have work!”

I shouted back, “Some of us have haunted snack problems, Pell!”

A window opened.

Mr. Pell leaned out, pale and sweaty, wearing a bathrobe that had seen three wars and lost all of them.

“Is it the vending machine?”

I glared up at him. “Pell. Did you buy your worst memory?”

Long silence.

Then he said, very quietly, “It had a coupon.”

I closed my eyes.

“I hate this building.”

The machine bucked hard and threw me backward. I hit the dumpster shoulder-first. Pain cracked bright behind my eyes. My goggles slid down over one eye.

The black box skittered across the wet pavement.

The tooth rolled out.

The vending machine stopped.

Every light on its front turned toward the tooth.

I noticed.

Because I am many things. Petty. Impulsive. Emotionally avoidant. Legally inconvenient.

But I am not stupid.

Often.

I grabbed the tooth and held it between two fingers.

The machine hissed.

“Debt, huh?”

The screen flashed.

RETURN PROPERTY.

I tilted my head.

“Oh. This isn’t collection.”

The machine shook.

“This is grave theft.”

The kid, halfway up the fire escape, called down, “What?”

“Somebody fed it goblin remains,” I said. “Old magic. Bad magic. Very murr.”

The machine lunged again.

I held the tooth high.

“Teeth-out, then.”

Then I ran.

Not away.

Up.

I hit the dumpster, kicked off the lid, caught the bottom rung of the fire escape, and swung myself onto the ladder as the machine slammed into the brick below me. Glass exploded. A bag of spicy chips burst open like it had been waiting its whole life for violence.

The kid scrambled out of my way as I climbed past him.

“Where are you going?”

“Roof.”

“Why?”

“Gravity is free and I’m poor.”

The vending machine started climbing.

Badly.

Its metal coils stabbed into the brick, dragging its heavy body upward inch by inch.

The kid stared down in horror. “It can climb?”

“Everything can climb when the city hates you personally.”

We reached the roof.

Saint Static’s rooftop was its usual beautiful disaster: broken chairs, illegal antennae, dead plants, laundry lines, prayer candles, empty bottles, and one suspicious tarp everyone agrees not to ask about because community depends on manners.

I sprinted to the maintenance shed.

The kid followed me, wheezing. “Do you have a plan?”

“No.”

“That’s bad!”

“I have pieces of a plan.”

“That’s worse!”

Inside the shed, I found copper wire, three old batteries, a cracked mirror, and a jar labeled DO NOT SHAKE.

I shook it.

The liquid inside glowed purple.

The kid stared. “Why would you shake that?”

“To establish dominance.”

The vending machine hauled itself over the roof edge.

It stood crooked and steaming, one side caved in, broken glass glittering like teeth.

The screen flashed.

VARKA’S DEBT REMAINS.

My ears flattened.

Everything in me went still.

“You don’t say her name.”

The kid stopped breathing behind me.

The city hummed below. Somewhere far off, music thumped from The Grit Pit. A siren wailed and gave up halfway through, which felt honest.

I wrapped the copper wire around the tooth.

Set it against the cracked mirror.

Poured the glowing jar over both.

The air snapped cold.

The vending machine screamed and charged.

I whispered, “Sorry, Baba.”

Then I kicked the mirror off the roof.

The tooth went with it.

The vending machine followed.

For one perfect second, it hung in the air. Stupid, furious, and full of stolen memory.

Then it dropped six stories into the alley and hit with a crash that woke every dog, baby, drunk, ghost, and underpaid shift worker in Low Halo.

Silence.

Then Mr. Pell opened his window again.

“Did you fix it?”

I leaned over the roof edge.

Smoke rose from the alley below. The machine lay twisted in a crater of wet trash, still faintly blinking.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE.

I spat over the side.

“Mostly.”

The kid came up beside me. He was shaking, but trying not to. Human pride is adorable when it isn’t running a government.

“What was the debt?” he asked.

I looked at the broken mirror shards scattered at my boots.

For a second, I was twelve again in The Tangle, holding half a stolen pastry and pretending hunger made me righteous.

Then I put that memory back where it belonged.

Somewhere dark, crowded, and mine.

“Family stuff,” I said.

The kid nodded like he understood.

Maybe he did.

Terrible.

After a while, he said, “You saved the building.”

I snorted. “I saved myself. The building was nearby and got lucky.”

“Still.”

“Don’t make it weird.”

“It is weird.”

“Then stop adding feelings to it.”

Down in the alley, the vending machine sparked one last time.

A final can of off-brand cola rolled from the wreckage.

My ears perked.

The kid saw me looking. “You’re not serious.”

I was already climbing down.

“Free cola.”

“It tried to kill you.”

“So has half this city. Doesn’t mean I won’t take its stuff.”

By sunrise, someone had spray-painted a warning over the broken machine:

DO NOT BUY TRAUMA FROM SNACK BOX.

Underneath it, someone else had written:

NIB OWES ME A NEW LADDER.

And under that, in my handwriting:

PRETTY LIES STILL SPEND. NO REFUNDS.